Let’s start with some basic information about the state of insurance in the U.S.. Or, rather, let’s start with some facts about the insured. Based on the most recent Census data, as of 2022 8.4% of Americans did not have health insurance. Truthfully, at first read that seemed lower than I was expecting and it has gone down over the years, much in part due to the Affordable Care Act. But, upon closer inspection I was pretty appalled by this number. While as a statistic 8.4% is not very high, it accounts for over 27 million people. Twenty-seven million! That is a lot of people. That is about 6 Louisians! That is 7 million more people than live in the state of New York! That is too many people who are most likely not getting the medical care that they need or deserve. 

And then let’s talk about the rest of the population. Of those with health insurance (again, these numbers are from the most recent Census): 

• 54.5% have employer based insurance

• 18.8% have Medicaid

• 18.7% have Medicare 

• 3.4% have Tricare or VA Insurance (armed forces)

• 10% purchase their insurance directly from carriers or from the marketplace

Those numbers combined are actually a bit over 100% and that is because some folks had multiple types of coverage or multiple types throughout the year. 

I’m glad so many people have health insurance. Not having health insurance is scary -- medical costs are extraordinarily high in the United States and a single medical bill has the ability to completely derail someone’s financial security. The fact that over 50% of folks get their health insurance from their employers makes me feel a few things. Again -- I’m happy folks get coverage, but anecdotally I know that this coverage can often feel like a set of fancy (or at least decent) handcuffs. Leaving a job that isn’t a good fit and starting something new, especially starting something entrepreneurial is a huge, terrifying, often incredibly gratifying leap, but because there aren’t great options for coverage outside of employer based plans (we’ll get to that 10% in a moment), it means that a lot of people don’t feel able to go out on their own. They feel stuck at jobs they’re miserable at. 

For a country that prides itself on the American Dream, small businesses, and the ability to pull oneself up from the boot straps, this feels like an incredible structural oversight. Actually, I don’t really think it is an oversight. I think those in power just don’t really believe in the things they say they do. I think they think it is okay that the only people who are financially able to start their own businesses are already wealthy or have safety nets and few responsibilities. 

So let’s talk about that 10% of folks who get their health insurance on the marketplace. While Verdi now has its own company based health insurance, I have experienced direct pay a lot over the past decade and it is how most of my clients get coverage so I feel pretty well versed in the manner. I’m glad that this option exists, but I hate how complex it can feel. I hate that in many states there are only a couple options for coverage which means that the options that do exist are rarely very good. I hate that coverage often feels overpriced and full of loopholes. I hate that small group insurance (coverage for businesses with fewer than 50 employees) is often more similar to the individual marketplace than the large company coverage. And, most of all I hate that if you don’t have coverage at all you are super screwed and if you do have coverage you are…well, still screwed. 

Sorry this week’s post was a downer, but this topic really bums me out. 

As always, I’m rooting for you.

XOXO,

P.S. The incredible course that Puno of ilovecreatives and I run, Finance Friends Forever, has a great chapter on insurance. If you want to learn more or learn how to determine what type of coverage(s) you need, I highly recommend checking it out. 

P.P.S. AND the most recent podcast episode is live! I get even more in depth on this topic this week and I’d love for you to listen. If you enjoy the podcast please rate, subscribe, comment, or like. All of that engagement is incredibly helpful and appreciated :) 

I specialize in working with folks with fluctuating income. That means business owners with fluctuating business revenue (and therefore often fluctuating take home income), folks who work with commission based salaries, freelancers, and gig workers. Today I want to focus on the gig workers, specifically the gig workers in the film industry, but the takeaways can apply to other industries as well. 

I’ve worked with folks in front of the camera (the “talent”) and those behind the camera (the crew and post production team), and the overarching financial narrative is complex and often painful. 

First off, there’s a vernacular in the industry that I think muddies how folks think about their work. My film industry clients talk about their work as if the industry is their employer. On the other hand, other freelancers I work with never talk that way. My freelance graphic designers don’t say the Graphic Design industry employs them -- they say individual clients employ them. By saying it is the industry as a whole, my clients unknowingly take the individual humanity out of the equation. When something is wrong and you say it is caused by “the industry” that is vague and often not actionable, but when something is wrong and you say it is caused by Steve, that is actionable. 

In general, folks who work in the film industry feel like they have been sold a bill of goods -- the industry, and what the industry makes, is cool. It is pop culture. Unlike most work, the finished product actually gets seen by millions of people. You can tell someone you worked on Barbie and they are going to think you are cool. Most of my clients in the industry would never say that that matters to them. They typically say that they love the functionality of their work - they love working on creative projects and they love the teamwork that is inherent to the job. That is all very legitimate! Those are great reasons to love the work and, I think for some, they outweigh the drawbacks. But, the cool factor is there too -- and it muddies the waters. It makes it hard to recognize the problems and makes it difficult to explain the problems to outsiders. 

Over the course of the last 7 years I’ve also come to more fully understand the drawbacks of the work and, therefore, who is the most likely to “make it” in the industry. 

Drawbacks: 

• Lack of control over pay

• Requirement to come with your own equipment/upkeep 

• Either no benefits or it is challenging to qualify for benefits

• No control over schedule

• Tied to location 

Let’s talk more specifically about a couple of these drawbacks. 

The norm in the industry is to talk about pay in terms of your day rate - which, depending on the role you have, can be pretty high. For example, a PA (Production Assistant) makes about $200 a day and a camera operator makes about $600 a day. A Director might make $4,000 or more a day.

This makes people feel like they make a ton of money when they are working on set, or at least have the potential to make a lot of money. The problem is that very few people in the industry actually work enough days to have the math work. It is not abnormal to go entire months without working -- or, depending on your role, to even go years without working. 

These ups and downs mean you don’t know when you’ll work again and therefore most people feel forced to take the next thing that comes up no matter what -- thus taking on things that aren’t good fits or overworking and burning out. This happens for creative freelancers in other industries as well, but in most other career paths you can work up to turning your freelance work into a (relatively) stable business and can run that business like any other small business. But, if you are a Grip in the film industry you will almost definitely never be able to run your work like it is a standalone business. 

And that doesn’t even begin to take into account the expectations of what each individual employee comes to the table with. If you are on the crew, you likely are expected to own a fair amount of your own equipment -- often thousands or tens of thousands of dollars. You need to take care of this equipment, fix it when it needs repairs and keep it up to date to industry standards (i.e. replace items, buy new items regularly). 

If you are talent, you are expected to invest significantly into your skills and appearance. This means regularly hiring acting coaches, participating in expensive acting classes and spending a lot of money on appearance related activities (personal trainers, fitness classes, facials, makeup, etc). These things add up and are not covered in any way by your employers. These are the pay to play costs and, for the most part, are non negotiable. 

Some of you reading I bet are thinking, “why would anyone agree to this?!”

I think a huge part is the day rate vernacular. 

When you are talking in day rate terms it is really hard for our brains to compute this in a helpful way. People typically think of money needs in terms of months -- how much we need to make in a month in order to cover our monthly expenses (i.e. I need to make at least $5,000 to cover my base expenses). So, when doing the day rate math you end up thinking -- I need to work X days/month to hit my minimum revenue needs. And, quite frequently the number of days you need isn’t outrageous so it feels doable, but, again, the lack of control that individual workers have means that hitting that number is a roll of the dice. 

Honestly, working with so many people in the industry over the years has made me think of the industry as pretty toxic. In fact, for some of my clients it almost feels like an abusive partner -- it pulls you in, gives you presents (day rate), makes you feel special (cool factor) and then turns around and cheats on you (don’t get hired) or expects too much from you (equipment investments). 

It really doesn’t have to be this way. I’m thrilled that the strikes seem to be making some progress in the right direction and I hope there is more of that in the future. While the work may not be saving lives, it is something that touches most of us most days and it would be nice if we (actually, not we -- the industry!) treated the people on the ground with more respect and kindness. 

As always, I’m rooting for you. 

XOXO, 

Let’s be real, I decided to write this newsletter because I thought the title was fitting for Halloween, not because I had the perfect topic to go along with it. Although, let’s also be real, I could pull almost any financial institution or figure out of a hat and explain how they are a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And hey, maybe I’ll actually turn this into a recurring series and write about someone different each time! 

Today, though, I want to just focus on one figure in the financial services world - Dave Ramsey. 

For those of you who don’t know, Dave Ramsey is a personal finance “guru” and evangelical Christian radio host who has been famous in both the finance industry and American Christian world for decades. 

Not that surprisingly, there are a lot of scandals now associated with him (see this Covid related one, this BS financial advice one, and this premarital sex one to get you started), which I’m not going to go into because the real journalists out there are absolutely doing a better job. 

What I want to talk about is his message. 

Dave Ramsey has built a career by teaching people how to get out of debt. And, I think he’s likely been incredibly helpful for a lot of people. The problem is that he also pushes messages that are harmful and offensive. 

His message is often extreme. He recommends cutting costs by eating rice and beans (like, only rice and beans). I know that being extreme is how you build buzz, which I’m sure was his goal, but it also can put people in a really scary situation. When you’re hearing that the only way to succeed is to cut expenses to the point of pain, that is what happens -- pain. 

Dave, on the other hand, is an incredibly wealthy man with an estimated net worth over $200 million. He is the son of real estate developers and has been in real estate and/or finance since the beginning of his career. He was a millionaire by age 26. 

He explains his financial story as a rags to riches story because after gaining incredible wealth he ended up declaring bankruptcy. His version of the story is very scary. I’m positive that it was really scary and stressful at the time. I’m also positive that the financial laws in place allowed him to succeed long term. 

Dave Ramsey declared bankruptcy as part of a business solution to a problem. His portfolio at the time was reported to be worth $4 million and his recalled debt was $1.2 million. He had high earning power and was, by all accounts, set up to land on his feet. It is not dissimilar to many other rich, white cis men of his generation declaring bankruptcy (i.e. Donald Trump, Larry King). It is dissimilar to the experiences of his audience. 

I’m not saying that he didn’t work hard, but I am saying that his experience is not the norm, nor is his experience relevant to his audience. He is an extremely wealthy, privileged, white cis man, telling a whole lot of financially vulnerable people what to do. He thinks that because he is rich he is better -- there is a moral judgment baked directly into his message:

If you follow my rules (which I never have had to) then you will shed your failings that got you where you are and you will be good (rich) like me. 

That is his core message. 

Being in debt or being poor is a moral failing. Being rich is a sign of moral success.   

Ramsey preys on his audience (he also claims to pray for his audience, but who knows). Folks who are in debt come to him and to his resources looking for relief and guidance. They are often scared and overwhelmed. They are in vulnerable situations and are looking for help. 

And then Dave sells them a system. He makes money off the vulnerable by selling “quick” solutions that, like most diets, are almost impossible to follow perfectly. That means that when a customer falls short of their goals the answer that Dave can give them is that they (the customer) didn’t follow all of the rules correctly. They failed because they couldn’t cut it, not because the system wasn’t realistic. He sets himself up to be infallible while still touting the righteous nature of his system. 

That isn’t how life works and it isn’t how money works. Our lives are inevitably full of unexpected expenses, changing priorities, and external realities. Some of us are born into systems that set us up for success and some of us are born into systems that set us up for failure. There are absolutely tools that we can use to improve our financial reality (heck, that’s why I have a job!), but ignoring the baked in realities and systemic failures of our financial system is foolish. 

So, if you’ve been hearing financial advice over the years from Dave Ramsey or anyone else that makes it feel like you’ve been doing something wrong and that’s why you haven’t reached your financial goals, I’d love for you to try to shed some of that guilt. If you want some help or support in shedding that guilt, reach out! I’d love to chat. 

As always, I’m rooting for you.

XOXO,

As I’ve shared in the past, my early adulthood financial journey included a whole lot of sticking my head in the sand and trying my darndest to not pay attention to my money (or, often, the lack thereof). And, as I’ve also shared in the past, I think there are times in life when not being as vigilant or aware may be a necessary coping mechanism. And, on top of all of that, very few of us have been taught helpful skills, habits, or even have reasonable real-life examples of what financial health and awareness really look like. 

As such, I never judge anyone who has buried their head in the sand when it comes to their money. It is a totally normal and reasonable reaction to a confusing, often overwhelming and scary part of life. 

AND, my career is dedicated to helping people unbury their heads. I like to think of this work, whether you are doing it with a professional, or on your own as split into two categories: 

1. Your Emotional Reality

2. Your Financial Reality

In an ideal world these two things are perfectly synced, but I think that is incredibly rare -- even if you have a really deep, thorough understanding of your finances! Instead, I like to think about getting those two realities as close as possible to each other. 

I start with #2 and weave in #1 as I go. What this looks like in practice:

• Exploring your key financial numbers so you know where you stand now

• Defining financial goals 

• Matching those goals to accounts (i.e. where will you save for that next business investment? How do you optimize retirement planning?) 

• Exploring current financial habits to determine what works well for you and what needs to change

• Create financial systems that ease stress and help you reach your goals

Throughout this process I weave in the emotional reality by asking questions. SO MANY QUESTIONS. And through the answers I help clients figure out why they’ve struggled with certain financial goals -- is it that they don’t know how to do something or how to create systems? Is it that the goal isn’t truly aligned with their values and desires? Is it that they were taught things and given financial belief systems that hold them back? I find that for almost every client there is a mixture of those three things going on, whether we’re working on business or personal finances (or a combo of the two!). 

Below is a brainstorm exercise that may help you begin to understand your own financial emotions. Try it out!  

• Imagine yourself 5 years in the future. In an ideal world, what are you doing? What are you spending your time doing? Who are you with? What does your home look like?

• Now, ask yourself the exact same question again. 

• And again. 

• Are the answers the same? Did they evolve over time? What things do you hold most dear…most close to your heart?

• Try that same exercise again in a week and compare your answers. 

• If they’re all the same then your financial goals are likely very well aligned with your actual values and desires. If not, you may be striving for something you don’t actually want and THAT is incredibly hard to do. 

As always, I’m rooting for you.

XOXO,

We’ve got a lot of very fun things cooking for fall over here at Verdi HQ and I cannot wait to tell you all about it! BUT…I’m not quite ready for all of the announcements yet. In the meantime, I want to share something that has been really top of mind for me recently.

It is easy to put your hands up and just say f*** it when it comes to money. 

Sometimes that feels good and right and the only way forward and I don’t blame you in any way if you’ve been there in the past or are there right now. Heck, I’ve been there! In fact, I’ve been there a lot over the past year and half. 

I don’t think periods of letting things go are necessarily bad, but they can be problematic if they last too long. The f*** it attitude can mess up your long-term goals, can get you in debt, and can stall your income growth.

If you’ve been in that space for a while, I feel you. I’ll tell you how I’ve been getting out of it: 

1. I got loosey goosey with Money Dates for a while, but for the past couple months I’ve really honored my financial journey by committing to having a Business Money Date every Monday and a Personal Money Date every Friday. Not only do I feel more aware of my financial reality, but checking in with myself is enabling me to make changes in real time that ease financial stress and move me closer to my goals. 

2. I’m tracking all of my personal expenses using my Money Diary (hint: I do this as part of my Money Date!). By looking at my expenses every week I’m able to remember how I felt every time I made a purchase. Understanding how I felt helps me determine which expenses are worth the money and which aren’t. For example, I paid for a super expensive car wash the other day because the only way to get the seats cleaned was to buy the most expensive package that included a whole bunch of stuff I didn’t care about. I do want the car to be clean (including the seats), but this package wasn’t worth it for me. 

3. I’m rethinking my long-term financial goals to better take into account the reality of my life. I haven’t come to exact conclusions yet, but I’m getting closer by spending the time to really think. 

As always, I’m rooting for you.

XOXO,

I’ve always had a bit of a shopping problem. No…I don’t really mean that. I don’t want to place a judgment on it from the get go. 

I’ll start over - I’ve always loved shopping. I love new things. I love trying on outfits and there were many times in my life when I spent a great deal of time, energy, and money on my clothes. It made me happy. 

During my first pregnancy I sort of gave up on all of that. I had just started my second trimester when Covid shutdowns went into place and I didn’t feel the need to spend money on clothes that no one would see but me and my husband. In retrospect that was likely a sign of depression, but I think at the time everything was in such upheaval that I didn’t recognize it as such. 

That first pregnancy was difficult and my second one, while less challenging than the first, was nerve wracking because my previous pregnancy put me in a high risk category. I struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety after my first, which unfortunately went undiagnosed (mostly because it was so much better than what I experienced during pregnancy). The PPD and PPA got a lot worse after my second child was born and, thankfully, that time around I had folks around me who helped me recognize what was going on. I went on medication, made lifestyle changes, and went to therapy.

During all this time I continued to shop, but mostly out of habit and desperation (my shoe size changed with EACH baby) and the simple fact that postpartum Caroline was a size (actually many sizes) that I had never been before and therefore I needed at least some clothes that fit. 

Over the last few months my PPD and PPA have really improved. I still have challenges, but they are more manageable and, as my therapist would say, I have more tools in my toolkit. I know how to recognize what is happening and I have multiple ways to move forward. 

One of the outcomes of my improved mental health is that I really want to get dressed in things that spark joy for me. I want to put on clothes that make me smile. I want to wear things that make me feel powerful and strong -- that make me feel capable. I do feel all of these things, but it has always helped me when the outside reminds me of what I know to be true on the inside. 

As such, I’ve been shopping in new ways recently. What had felt more like a chore and habit is feeling exciting, but also a little bit overwhelming. I want to buy so much, but I know I can’t afford to go overboard. I also know that both my style and my body are in flux and investing too much money into a style at this point is likely premature. 

To be completely honest, I haven’t quite figured out how I want to move forward in this space. I could buy a lot of new things at a low price point (Old Navy, Target) or I could buy more things at a mid-range price point, or I could invest in just a couple things at a higher price point. Pre-pregnancy Caroline would have chosen the mid or high range and postpartum depression Caroline would have chosen the low price point. The question is, where does post pregnancy, stable mental health Caroline go? 

If you’ve been in a similar place and have advice for me, I’d love to hear it! Shoot me an email at caroline@verdiadvising.com or comment below. 

As always, I’m rooting for you.

XOXO,

I get a lot of credit score and credit questions from folks and I wanted to spend some time answering the questions that I hear most frequently. Read on to see if any of your burning questions get answered! 

Have other questions you’d like me to address? Send me an email at caroline@verdiadvising.com. 

Does it hurt your credit score to cancel cards you don’t want anymore? (This question wins for being asked the most times!)

I hate this answer, but yes. A few of the factors that impact your score are hurt by closing cards: 1. Closing a card lowers the amount of credit you have available to you, making it look like you’re using more of your credit than you did before closing the card. 

The math =  You used to have 3 cards with the following credit limits: $5,000, $2,000 and $10,000. Your total available credit was $17,000 and you had a $2,000 balance. $2,000/$17,000 = 11% use of your cards.

Now you have 2 cards with the following credit limits: $2,000 and $10,000. Your total available credit was $12,000 and you had a $2,000 balance. $2,000/$12,000 = 17% use of your cards. Using 17% of your credit is “worse” than using 11% of it.

2. Closing cards can lower your credit “diversity” and therefore lower your score.

However, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should never close a card! There are ways to do this well, I can help.

Is it better to not have credit cards?

I know plenty of credit card-less people who are thrilled to be that way, but they tend to have external factors that make this easier (i.e. are independently wealthy or have few outside responsibilities). 

If you want to make big purchases that you don’t have the funds to pay for all at once (or move to a new apartment in a big city) it is really important to build a good credit score and the easiest way to do that is to use credit cards responsibly. 

What is an average score? 

The national average is about 700. That is a pretty good score that will get you decent loan and credit card offerings. To get the best offerings you need to score over 800, but honestly the offerings for 740+ are pretty darn close to 800+. 

What is the ideal way to regularly pay off my cards? 

Note: I’m answering this from the perspective of paying off your cards regularly, not if you are working on paying down balances that have been on your card for more than a month! I’ll get to that doozy later:) 

The only way to avoid interest is to make sure that your statement balance is $0 before the due date! There are a few ways to do this well. I recommend starting out with whichever option feels best for you and then checking in with yourself after a month or two. If it doesn’t actually feel good, try another option!

• Pay your card balance after every purchase. This option can feel overwhelming for a lot of people, but if you’re particularly worried about getting into debt or have experienced debt in the past it just may feel just right.

• Pay off your balance on the same day every week. I love doing this on Fridays so you can go into the weekend feeling accomplished! 

• Pay off your “statement balance” before the due date. You can either set this up as an auto pay or set up a recurring reminder for yourself to pop in and manually do it. 

Is my score hurt if I get rejected for a card? What should I do next? 

Sort of. Your score isn’t affected by the rejection, but it is affected by the lender doing a “hard check” on your credit history, so your score is getting hurt whether you get approved or not. 

If you do get rejected, it is important to go through the following steps:

• Do you need a new card right now? If not then hold off for at least 3 months while your score improves.

• If you do need a new card it is important to apply for one that you are more likely to get approved for. Credit Karma has good recommendations based on your score and your bank can likely give you a good estimate of whether or not you’d be approved, but there are no sure fire bets. If you want help figuring out how to determine the right card for you, let me know!

As always, I’m rooting for you.

XOXO,

Money Dates are a simple, concrete way to regularly check in with your money and your money goals. Over the past 8 years I’ve been improving upon a system so that anyone can start (or maintain) a better, healthier relationship with money and I’m super excited to share my process with you today! 

I LOVE Money Dates. My husband and I have them periodically (we used to be very good about weekly dates, but now they are more irregular), and I have them with myself every Friday. Solo Money Dates are pretty simple - all you need is a little bit of time, a willingness to learn more about yourself and your money habits, and access to your bank account(s). To make them even easier to implement, I’ve created a FAQ list that will get you started off on the right foot (or buck?). 

Why should I do this?

Such an important question! Culturally, we are very isolated from our money, yet use it (almost) every day. Money Dates help to:

• Normalize our experiences with money

• Keep us on track towards our Money Goals

• Teach us about our money habits - which often teaches us about our other habits and priorities!

• Understand our lifestyles more fully

• Become more mindful with our money habits

How much time do I need?

Not much! I set aside 30 minutes for each of my money dates. I love them, so sometimes I end up spending more time, but I always commit to at least a full 30 minute chunk of time.

How often should I have Money Dates?

My personal preference is once a week as part of my regular morning routine because I find that that frequency and time of day is the easiest for me to make habitual. However, I have clients who find that 2x a month or even 1x a month is a better fit for them. I have other clients who like to have their money dates during a lunch break or at the end of the work day as a way to mark the start to a relaxing evening. No matter your preferred frequency or time of day, make sure to set aside the time in your calendar so that you don’t forget about it.

EXPERT TIP: If you choose to have money dates less frequently then try to go for a little longer — shoot for 45-60 minutes instead of 30.

Where should I be?

Wherever! You will need access to either your bank accounts or a money tracker (want to set one of these up? Schedule a free call with me so we can chat), so make sure to be somewhere where you’re easily able to pull those up, but otherwise it is totally up to you. I recommend being someplace comfortable and private so you don’t have to deal with interruptions. Usually that means I head on over to my couch, but I’ve had successful money dates in coffee shops, parks, by a pool and even on a train! Anyone else feel the start to a Dr. Seuss book here?!

What do I actually do during the money date?

First review your Money Goals and ask yourself the following questions:

• Do my goals spark joy? Marie Kondo that list y’all.

• Do any of my goals need updating? Am I updating them because I haven’t made progress? If so, what do I need to change about my action steps?

• Have I reached any of my goals? If so, do a dance, scream at the top of your lungs and shoot me an email so I can do the same! 

Then, look over your spending and saving habits since your last money date (or, if this is your first one - look at just the last week). Ask yourself the following questions:

• Are my spending and saving habits aligned with my goals? If not, what can I shift now? What will take more time?

• How can I make my spending and saving habits even more aligned with my goals?

• Does anything seem wrong (i.e. got charged twice for Netflix, my health insurance auto payment isn’t showing up, my paycheck looks smaller this month)? If so, make a plan to follow up with the appropriate people.

What treat should I have?

Treats are an important part of Money Dates. Diving into your personal finances can be scary and hard, especially when you’re first starting out, so I recommend bribing yourself with a little goodie at the end. My favorite treats are really simple -  a little bit of chocolate, a homemade matcha latte, a yummy cup of tea (do you see a pattern here?). My treats are always food or drink related, but you don’t need to be so focused (or hungry) and instead plan an activity for after the date that makes you particularly happy. Or, better yet, do both!

As always, I’m rooting for you. 

XOXO,

A few weeks ago I wrote about how our bank accounts (i.e. our transactions) can say a lot about us and our values. I shared that although I feel good about what my transactions say now, I didn’t always feel that way. Today, I want to share a little bit more about my personal journey. 

Spoiler Alert: It feels a little uncomfortable to publish this post because my past relationship with money is not at all what you would want from a financial coach but, I think, like teachers who are particularly good at teaching subjects they struggled with in school, my past financial struggles help me better empathize and strategize with my clients. 

And, if nothing else, maybe my embarrassing story will bring you a little joy. That’s worth it in my book! 

Let’s go back to the mid-2000s…

You know, when this song was cool. And these looks (check out slide 15). And this movie. 

I was in undergrad and once I moved off campus my parents started giving me a monthly allowance that I could use as I saw fit. I truthfully do not remember how much it was (I wish I had written this all down!), but I remember that it felt like almost enough most of the time. I always paid my rent first and then would willy nilly make it through the rest of the month. I have vague memories of “budgeting”, but I did it in the exact way that I teach clients not to do now. I wrote down how much money I “made” and then came up with what felt like reasonable guesses for my expenses. I finished the exercise, realized that if my guesses were right that it would be a really tight fit to do everything, promptly closed my notebook, and then never looked at the exercise again. 

But, of course, my guesses weren’t right. No one’s guesses are right. 

And that meant that sometimes, especially at the end of the month, I was having to make difficult decisions about what to pay for (thankfully, I did not have a credit card until I graduated or I would have started my credit-card-debt-rack-up-journey multiple years earlier than I did). 

I have one particularly embarrassing memory of this decision making process: 

As a kid I was allergic to bee stings. I had five years of allergy shots, so am likely not allergic anymore, but haven’t ever been tested again to confirm (**pauses to make Allergist appointment**). I had always carried an Epipen, but didn’t realize how expensive they were until it was time to refill the prescription. I have a strong memory of getting to the pharmacy, realizing that if I paid for the Epipen I wouldn’t have enough money to go here ⬇️

Aaaannndd…I have never owned an Epipen since 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ 

If nothing else will convince you that 22 year olds do not have fully formed brains, then I don’t know what will. 

Anyway…long story short - I don’t have my old bank records, but if I did I can guarantee that my “bank account values” list would look something like this: 

1. Partying

2. Rent

3. Clothes 

4. Restaurants

I don’t actually think I would have been embarrassed by that order when I was 22. In fact, I bet I would have been proud of it. And, truthfully, the real problems didn’t come for me until I got credit cards and started living beyond my means, but that’ll be a story for a different day.

The point is that our values and priorities can, and should, shift over time. What this means in reality is that sometimes our values shift faster than our financial habits and in order to catch up with ourselves we need to take the time to check in with our spending and our action plans. Because, if we aren’t analyzing, reflecting, and learning, then we can end up drinking our Epipen money away.

Okay. I think I’ve aired enough dirty laundry for the day. 

As always, I’m rooting for you.

XOXO,

A lot has changed in my life over the last year and, probably not surprisingly to anyone but me, those changes have made me feel a bit overwhelmed. I was sharing some of those concerns with my husband the other day and started down a spiral -- saying that I should be able to handle all of these changes and not have any negative reactions. He stopped me and asked me what I would say if one of my clients said that to me. 

Woof. 

What a perfect way to stop me in my tracks. Of course it is reasonable that I feel overwhelmed with the changes in my life! Of course it is reasonable to not always feel on steady ground right now! Coach Me reminded Client Me that the important thing is to be kind to myself and give myself the time and grace to figure out how to create that solidity again (and recognize that full solidity doesn’t really exist). 

When a client is going through similar challenges I help them figure out how to step back from the situation and be realistic. And then I help them figure out what practices they need to help them feel less overwhelmed. But, if I’m being honest, I haven’t kept up with some of the practices that I know help me stay grounded. These are things like: 

• Going for runs

• Making time to read for fun

• Journaling

• Money Dates

I’ve gotten back into my journaling practice and I’m decent at going for runs, but I don’t often read for fun anymore and I’ve missed way more money dates over the past 6 months than I’d like to share. After I told all of this to my husband he immediately stopped me and sat me down to do a couple’s money date. We reviewed upcoming bills, we checked on a few pending tax forms, we discussed our savings goals, and talked about how our spending has changed since our baby was born. It took about 30 minutes and afterwards I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. 

So, if you can relate and are feeling bogged down, may I suggest making a list of things that make you feel grounded and then pick one to do right now? Maybe your shoulders can feel a bit less heavy too.

XOXO

Today’s post is an informal case study on why taking breaks is crucial for our mental and physical health and, therefore, our financial health.

I’ve now been officially back from maternity leave for about a month and a half and am slowly figuring out my schedule and the realities of being a working parent during a pandemic. The logistics are not simple and I’m not sure I’ll ever master them (perhaps that isn’t even possible). In general this is how things are supposed to go: I work about 20 hours a week. Vidalia is in daycare for 15 of those hours and the other five are cobbled together from other times throughout the week -- naps, times when she is with her dad, early mornings before she’s up...you get the picture. We will increase the amount of time she’s in daycare in the coming months, but for now this is what feels best for all involved, and, in theory, the plan works great.

In reality the whole system could fall apart at any moment because of any number of “children-are-gross-and-there’s-a-pandemic” reasons: 

• Vidalia could get sick and need to stay home

• Vidalia could get one of her parents sick and we’d have to keep her home because of Covid protocols

• One of Vidalia’s classmates could get Covid or someone in their home could get Covid and the whole classroom of kiddos would have to stay home

Basically there are a lot of ways that childcare can disappear at the drop of a hat. 

Because of that I often feel like I need to use every little moment I have available to get work done. A little voice in my head eggs me on reminding me that I don’t really know that I’ll get those 5 hours of childcare so I should really use this 6am hour on a Sunday to respond to emails. As you likely can imagine, that little voice in my head has been making me feel like I’m both always at work and never really working enough, when in fact I had a plan for working part-time in 2021 and if I just stuck with it then I could get what I need to get done. I won’t get everything done, but, as I said last week, that isn’t possible anyway.

This weekend I decided to try a different approach at making that little voice shut up. Instead of giving in to its demands, I resisted. I didn’t do any work on Sunday and Monday. I read a book. I journaled. I went on a hike with my husband and daughter. I drank my coffee while talking to my cat. I called my sister. I went on a run with a friend. I played with my daughter. And you know what? It was incredibly restorative. It is now Tuesday morning and I feel happy to use this little window of time to work on the newsletter and I’m looking forward to daycare time this afternoon when I can tackle the rest of my action items for the day. I don’t feel exhausted. I feel ready.  

I think the same thing happens with money work. Sometimes we focus so much of our mental energy on something, whether it’s squirreling away money in our emergency fund, whittling down credit card debt, or tracking our business revenue, that we become exhausted. Those goals are all good, but spending too much time on them can make us lose sight of the reason we’re shooting for them in the first place. So, if you’re working hard on a money goal and feeling exhausted, can I recommend a weekend away from it? Maybe just a little time apart will make you feel more motivated when you come back to it. 

XOXO

Throughout my maternity leave Marguerite and I have had weekly check-in calls. These calls were originally scheduled so that we could discuss client issues, emails, and client work while I was on leave. That certainly has happened, but something else happened during these calls that I wasn’t anticipating: we’ve gotten a chance to chat casually about financial topics that are on our minds. It is such a simple act and yet one that I hadn’t realized I desperately needed. I had been running Verdi Advising solo for several years before Marguerite joined the team in the beginning of 2020 and I am continuously thrilled by not being alone on this journey anymore. Pre-M (as I think of 2019 and before) I had to have these conversations with myself. Or my cat, who, while being an excellent listener, isn’t so great at the give and take of a conversation. All that is to say that last week we got started on a topic that gets us both really angry. 

Manifestation. 

I know, I know, it is a very popular term, especially in the crunchy, feel-good coaching instagram community of which we are peripherally a part. And books by Jen Sincero and others have made it even more popular. Don’t get me wrong, mindset is incredibly important. If you don’t believe that you are capable of something then it makes it very unlikely that you’ll actually do that thing. Money mindsets are often negative and can be extremely destructive. And, because money is a taboo subject in this country, these mindsets are often very deep seated, but not consciously explored. That is a powerful(ly bad) combination. Therefore, we often work with clients on mindset issues by exploring their origins and rewriting the narratives to better fit their goals and reality. In fact, those mindset issues are the first thing we tackle in the Verdi Money Club! 

It isn’t mindset that got us raving, it is this idea that if you just say your goals enough they’ll happen. It is the glossed over version of manifestation that is popular on social media -- the one liner, the mantra, the perfect insta picture. Yes, saying your goals over and over to yourself will likely help you reset a negative mindset, but if you don’t have the knowledge or skills that you need to actually achieve those goals then they won’t come true. No amount of chanting “I will make $5,000 today” will bring me that $5k. Moreover, manifestation can backfire. If someone tells you you can have $5k by saying it, and you say it, but you don't have it, studies show you're likely to be hard on yourself, as if your "low frequency vibration" is a personal failing. It is not.

Unfortunately, Marguerite and I see that belief come up all the time and we want to tell you it’s not your fault! Making changes in your money life is incredibly hard and manifestation seems like an easier route -- we get it! But, if you really want to make changes, whether to your spending habits, debt, credit, saving, or income, you will likely need a few things other than a mindset shift. You will likely need some new skills, an accountability system, and some knowledge to help you implement new actions. That’s why Marguerite and I do the work that we do -- both with 1:1 clients and in the Verdi Money Club. 

So, as we round out the year and you start thinking about 2021 goals, we encourage you to look at those money goals and ask yourself what supports you need. Maybe it is as simple as doing a little googling. Maybe you need to reach out to a friend who will help you stay on track. Maybe you need support from a coach or a group coaching community. Whatever it is, be kind to yourself, be honest with yourself, and we promise you’ll be way more likely to reach that $5k in a day goal than if you just repeated that phrase over and over in the mirror. 

XOXO

For those of you who aren’t aware, I’m pregnant. Like, really pregnant. I’m rounding up on month 9 and will be going on maternity leave sometime next month. A lot changes during pregnancy and, while very few of those topics are on brand for a money centric newsletter, one thing that I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about recently absolutely is: how to talk about money with children. 

For those of you without children, I urge you to keep reading because talking with kids about money isn’t too different from talking to other adults (or yourself!) about money. 

As regular readers know, I’m obsessed with financial transparency (check out this, this, this and this). However, I grew up in a household where money conversations did not happen and if the topic came up naturally in conversation it was quickly squashed by my parents. I now understand that that familial trend contributed to a really unhealthy money mindset that I had until my late 20s. I know that it contributed to a serious lack of knowledge that led me to make some pretty poor choices. I also understand why my parents didn’t talk about money in front of me and my sister - they had no roadmap for how to do so and had culturally been taught that it was wrong. 

I’m determined that my daughter will experience money conversations in a completely different way than I did, but I don’t yet have a clear roadmap of how to do that either. Unlike in the 80s, there are now a lot of resources out there that tell you how to handle these conversations (just google “how to talk about money with kids” - you’ll get 2 million+ hits), but much of the advice is incredibly vague -- i.e. be age appropriate, impart the value of hard work, use teachable moments. None of those ideas are bad, but they also aren’t terribly helpful because 1) most adults don’t feel confident enough in their own financial literacy to follow through, and 2) the decision on how to talk about money with children is really about what you want children to walk away with as young decision makers and vague, blanket advice doesn’t take that into account.

Tackling both of those issues in one newsletter is a bit much, so today I just want to focus on #1. While it is impossible to directly impart specific knowledge to children that you yourself don’t have, there are still wonderful ways to make sure that children grow up financially literate and that you are part of that conversation. 

Here’s a starter kit of ideas: 

• Allow conversations about money to happen in front of children. Even things as simple as, “did you pay that bill yet?” or “how much were groceries this week?” are great. This teaches kids that money conversations are normal. 

• Talk about how you weren’t taught about money and why you want that to be different for your children. This could be a serious sit-down conversation or just something you share in passing when it comes up. For example, if you choose to give allowance and you discuss how that money is being used you could say, “did you know that I got allowance when I was a kid, but your grandparents never discussed it with me? I’m really glad we get to talk about it so you can ask questions and decide how you want to use the money”. 

• Learn and ask questions together. It is okay to not know everything! Heck, I don’t know everything. That’s why I’m constantly researching and learning about new financial topics. If a question comes up that you don’t know the answer to, use that as an opportunity to learn together. Do some online research, find a book on that topic, or call us! 

• Most importantly, when the topic naturally comes up don’t squash it. Kids need to know that money is an integral part of our world and therefore it is okay to talk to talk about 

You can use this same list with friends and loved ones. If the ultimate goal is that more of us are financially literate and comfortable being able to discuss money matters, then it doesn’t really matter if you’re talking about having these conversations with toddlers, teenagers, or adults. 

Next week we’ll tackle #2: determining the end goal for money conversations with children.

I’d love to hear from you! What money questions or topics would you like to see addressed in the blog? What questions do you have about today’s topic? Just hit reply to send me your thoughts!

XOXO

Last week I shared the first of several posts in a series on economic privilege. I talked about how many people are beginning to touch on their own privilege during the current social justice movement, but that recognizing it alone does not do enough. 

This week, I want to dive deeper into how to unpack and recognize your economic privilege and how to begin to transition this understanding into actions that are aligned with your values. Be forewarned: this is not something that you can just do in a day and be done with. As a lover of checklists I am always tempted to action-item away my own personal emotional and developmental work, and I suspect a few of you have similar tendencies. So, for those of us who like to cross things off lists, know that working on your own understanding of privilege and how you want to move through and impact the world around you will be an ongoing checklist item. Think about it more like “drink water” as opposed to “file taxes”. 

In the last post I shared a list of common instances in which folks experience economic privilege. Today, I want to walk you through a couple journaling exercises that I have put together to help folks dive deeper into their own understanding. This is HARD WORK, so I recommend starting with whichever prompt speaks to you first. Don’t worry about going in order and don’t worry about fully answering the question in one sitting. Instead, try out a prompt for about 10 minutes (or as long as you’d like!) and then give yourself some time to let it ruminate in your head. Come back to that same prompt in a few days and see if you have anything to add or if any new ideas have come to mind. Do the same with each question that feels relevant to you. 

Journal Prompts to Help Uncover Your Economic Privilege

1. What are some examples of times when you were given opportunities that other people may not have been offered? Did you recognize that as privilege at the time? In what ways have those opportunities helped you throughout your life? Note: one helpful way to answer this may be by creating an impact timeline (i.e. because of that unpaid internship I met the person who connected me with my first boss. That first job helped me learn x, y, and z which then made it possible for me to…).

2. Imagine that as a young adult (18 years old) you had the responsibility of economically caring for other members of your family. What school and career decisions would you have made? How would that have changed your life trajectory? 

3. Most people take their economic privilege for granted. When are some times that you have taken it for granted in your life? What if instead you recognized your privilege at that time? How would that have changed your attitude or actions? 

4. How would your life trajectory have changed if you had/have large student loans? Would you have made the same career choices that you have made? How would that impact your day-to-day life experiences?

Once you are primed and have begun to really understand your place in the spectrum of economic privilege, you may be asking yourself: “but what do I do with this information?”. The answer is, unfortunately, that it depends. It depends on your values and how you want to interact with those around you. I hope that for all of you it means that you’ll decide to use your privilege in a way that helps others, but the way you help will likely differ greatly. Below are a few ideas to get you started. 

• Use some of your cash privilege to donate to organizations that are aligned with your values (check out this post, this post, or this post on voting with your wallet)

• Use some of your material privilege to donate items to organizations that can help others

• Use some of your economic privilege to sponsor events 

• Use some of your economic privilege to donate your professional time to others (i.e. Verdi Advising has an ongoing pro bono client program and is now expanding to include regular pro bono workshops for nonprofit organizations and their communities)

• Use some of your connection privilege to help those who are less privileged than you (individuals or organizations) get connected with potential employers, mentors and donors. 

• Use some of your time privilege to volunteer with organizations that are aligned with your values. Not sure about venturing out in public during the pandemic? Totally fair! Lots of organizations have opportunities to help remotely. 

• Use some of your privilege to reach out to your political representatives (don’t forget your local ones -- they often are the most important!) to encourage them to vote in a way that is aligned with your values. 

  • Not sure who to call or what to say? Check out 5calls.org as a great first resource. 

Next week we’ll discuss how to determine what makes the most sense for you and how to get started on your actions. 

XOXO

Note: I posted an article on privilege almost exactly a year ago, but upon re-reading it, I realized that not only did it not go far enough, but that by only having one article I was doing a great disservice to my readers. 

It feels like everywhere I turn there are discussions about discussing privilege. The term comes up in conversations with friends in passing -  as in “I know and am grateful for my privilege, but…”. It comes up on my social media feed - as in “we need to confront our privilege”, and it comes up in news stories - as in “Tammy Duckworth didn’t come from privilege”.

Saying the word and acknowledging our own privilege, whether racial, gender, or economic (or all three), is good. Recognizing that it exists is an important first step, but it is only a first step and a pretty minor one at that. Conversations in passing, instagram and the periodic news story are all great forums for pushing a term to the forefront of our lexicon, but they are often not great spaces for going deeper (of course there are exceptions to this rule). I’ve been finding myself growing increasingly frustrated by the conversations, or, perhaps a better way of putting it, the “almost-conversations” that I’m surrounded by. 

It feels frustrating because I know through my day-to-day work that privilege runs deep within our understanding of our own financial realities and relationships. Privilege impacts how we earn, how we spend and how we discuss money. And those things -- the hows of money -- impact our society at large. By just touching the surface we are never going to be able to unpack our own privilege or make larger organizational and structural changes that will change the status quo. Instead, we just sit in the space of recognizing some guilt and shame we feel and hope that the recognition relieves us of our individual pain. Unfortunately, economic justice isn’t about individual pain, it is about collective disenfranchisement. 

So, let’s have a real conversation about privilege. Or, since this is just one small article, let’s at least start a real conversation about privilege -- one that we can come back to and continue to unpack over the following weeks, months and, let’s be honest, years. 

Since my expertise is financial, I’m going to focus on economic privilege, but I highly encourage you to have these same internal and external conversations around other forms of privilege (race, gender, sexual-orientation, body, nationality). 

A Guide for Understanding Your Own Privilege

First, we need to better understand the bare bones data on where we fall in the economic ladder of our society.

Because of the way we talk about money in this country (or rather, don’t talk about money), many of us assume that we are farther down the economic ladder than we are. The Pew Research Institute created a calculator that shows where you fall economically based on your geographic location, household income and number of members of your household. Take a minute to go find where you fall. Are you surprised? Play around with the calculator a little bit -- how easy is it for you to move from tier to tier? What happens if you pretend you got a raise? What happens if you add or subtract a significant other from your numbers?

My family falls within the middle income tier in the Los Angeles area, but only barely. If we have a good year financially (i.e. not a pandemic year) then we quickly move into the upper tier. Once our baby is born it’ll be slightly harder to stay in the upper tier because our household will be bigger and therefore each of us will have a smaller portion of the income allotted to us within the family unit, but I expect, based on past experiences, that over the next few years we’ll continue to earn more and therefore move back into the higher tier. The fact is that even though I am not part of the 1% of Californians (who make a minimum of $514,694 per year), I am far from poor. To see the minimum income to be in the 1% by state, check out this article. To learn more about the tiers and change in concentration of wealth over time in the U.S. check out this Investopedia article. 

Next, we need to understand the ways that we experience economic privilege and recognize that much of our success is buoyed by our own privilege. 

The American dream ideal encourages us to try to fit into the “I pulled myself up from my bootstraps” storyline regardless of our own backgrounds. My family lore certainly leaned into this narrative -- my father grew up in a upper-middle class neighborhood in the Milwaukee suburbs, went to college (granted, there were some bumps in the road for him during this time) and then worked his way from an entry level position at a bank up to Vice-President in a multinational corporation. He absolutely worked hard and he did move from near the bottom of the totem pole to very close to the top, but this is not a “pulled myself up from my bootstraps story”. My father is white, tall, has all of his hair and, while not receiving regular financial support from his parents after leaving home, benefited greatly from the place of economic privilege he was born into. 

Similarly, I grew up in a upper-middle class suburb of Chicago, went to a top rated public school (where I attended honors classes, which in retrospect, were blatantly tracked based on race), attended a private university paid for by my parents and then took advantage of the opportunities surrounding me to go into education and then, later, finance. I worked hard. I still work hard! I also am working within a societal framework that sets me up for success. Perhaps as a woman in finance, less so than my father, but I have removed myself from the typical financial industry in order to avoid the sexism that so often coalesces in large, male-dominated fields. Being able to remove myself was only possible because of my privilege. I knew that I could start my own business, I knew that if things went really poorly I could find outside work and I knew that family and friends would help me if needed. 

You experience economic privilege if any of the following is true (note: this is not an exhaustive list, just a starting point):

• You grew up in a neighborhood with good public schools

• You went to private school 

• You were taught specific ways to interact with those in power so that they would help you (i.e. writing thank you notes, dressing a specific way for specific events)

• You were able to choose your post-high school pursuits without focusing on cost or income

• You received at least some financial support from family and friends when you attended college and/or graduate school

• You’ve been able to take unpaid internships

• You have a network of friends and family who are able to help you get employment or other career related opportunities

• You do not have student loans

• You have not had to take loans or use credit cards in order to take advantage of non-paid or poorly-paid “great opportunities”

• You have been able to take advantage of career opportunities that cost you money instead of pay you money

• You are able to pay for equipment, materials and clothing that is “necessary” to be comfortable or taken seriously in professional settings

• You are able to outsource work, either professional or personal, to others that would otherwise take time out of your day

How many of these experiences have you had? Are you surprised by the layers of privilege you experience? 

Over the course of the next week I encourage you to spend time reflecting on your experiences of economic privilege. Take time to journal, think quietly, talk to close friends and family members to try to delve deeper into this work. You will not be able to fully understand your privilege in a week. Society has done an incredible job of creating social norms that make it very difficult to unpack the invisible threads that help us, but, with time and effort, you will be able to understand a lot and, perhaps more importantly, create neural pathways that allow you to continue to delve into this uncomfortable awakening again and again in the future. 

Next week we’ll turn to focus on how to transform your understanding into action, but, as I’m a big believer in the power of truly understanding your own desires and values before taking action, I’m going to leave it here for now. 

As always, I’m here for you in your money journey, no matter where you are.

XOXO

Last week I shared the origins of the narrative that most directly harms my relationship with money. The narrative is that I should be a martyr, but with really nice clothes. Today I want to share how I’ve reframed this narrative into something positive and helpful. 

The first step is to determine whether there are any helpful nuggets hidden in your not-so-helpful narrative. Even though my narrative conflicts with itself and made it difficult to make financial decisions that feel aligned with who I am, there is a lot of good in there. 

Once I’ve identified the good, which in this case is: (1) doing good things for others and (2) appreciating things that make me happy, I’m able to rewrite the phrase into something that aligns with my values. 

My new narrative: I do good for the world, and for myself. 

There are still times when I struggle with maintaining the positive, reframed version of my narrative as the one that steers my relationship. I notice that when I’m particularly stressed, tired, sick, or not in tune with my emotional state I fall back into my old thinking patterns. I think that I should help others in ways that directly hurt myself or break my own healthy boundaries. I think I need to live a lifestyle that puts wealth on display (but, you know, in a classy way…). 

On my better days I catch this thought pattern and I’m able to stop it. I have to disengage from whatever I’m doing (get off the phone, get off my laptop, leave the room) and take some deep breaths. I then have to repeat my new narrative over and over again. Sometimes I can do this in my head and it’s plenty. Sometimes I have to do this out loud. Sometimes I have to emphasize the first part of the sentence: “I do good for the world”, and sometimes I have to emphasize the latter: “and for myself”. 

There are other days when I don’t even realize that the negative pattern is running in my brain. Those are the days when I end up making decisions that feel prickly because they are misaligned with my values. I know they don’t feel good, but it is often that I can’t pinpoint why until the next day, or sometimes the next week. 

I know it is a cliche, but this process is truly a journey. I promise your path won’t be a straight line, and it’s impossible to say how many loop-de-loops you’ll end up doing. My path feels a lot like this: 

As long as you continue to move forward, continue to reflect and continue to work toward alignment you are going in the right direction. Wherever you are on your journey, I’m here for you. 

XOXO

Last week I shared a personal struggle that I’ve been working on since the start of the pandemic: how to comfortably continue to sell my services when I know that paying for anything “extra” during a time of financial crisis is hard. Part of my struggle stems from the money narratives I’ve held since childhood. Today, I’m going to dive into those and ask you to try doing the same!

1st you will need to dive into your past! Use the following questions to get started, but feel free to go in whatever direction the process moves you in. I share some of my takeaways below. 

• What are your earliest money memories? 

• Were there any money expectations that your family or community put on you? 

• What money values could you see around you? Was it clear that money was important? Not important? Evil? 

My Takeaways: 

I was raised in a strict, Southern Baptist household. I was also raised in a liberal Chicago suburb (Oak Park). This was simultaneous, and just as those two sentences are direct juxtapositions, so were the money values I left my home with at age 18. 

I like to think of it as being raised to be a martyr, but with really nice clothes. 

Let me explain by giving a few examples:

1. When I was graduating high school and deciding what I’d do with the rest of my life (as you do), I remember telling one of my best friends that I wanted to work with disadvantaged kids in the poorest parts of the world. Remote would be good. Someplace where I didn’t have running water would be ideal. His response? “You won’t do that because then you won’t be able to afford those pants”. Brutal. And very accurate. For reference, I was wearing a pair of 7 For All Mankind Jeans. They were not cheap and they were my favorite. I had zero concept of how many hours I would need to work in the kind of job I was describing to be able to afford those pants (they were probably about $150).

2. Every few years my mother would say that they had a rough year and therefore we wouldn’t be having a big Christmas. Those were the years that my sister and I tended to get mostly joint gifts. My personal *favorite* was the year they bought us a sewing machine. My sister was and is a gifted seamstress. I can manage a button. I interpreted this gift to mean that I was either less loved or that they thought if I wasn’t distracted by other presents I would finally get my act together and fall in line with the long line of seamstresses in my family tree. Even though these “small Christmases” were less extravagant than other years, there wasn’t much of a difference, and they were often followed up with random January sales shopping trips that would have more than made up for what wasn’t spent in December. 

3. My dad worked for an international bank and made good money. I never did find out what his salary was. I remember asking a few different times over the course of my childhood and I was always berated, told that was an incredibly inappropriate question to ask and told that we were “fine”, but not “rich”. This meant nothing to me then and I think would still mean nothing to me now. Also, in retrospect, we were rich. Telling me that we weren’t meant that I had a very hard time as an adult living with less than what I grew up with. I thought what I had was normal and since I was working in a career that my family approved of, then it would surely pay me enough to live that same lifestyle I was accustomed to. It did not. 

Learning about your money narratives can be an incredibly empowering experience. By diving into these memories I am able to make connections with my present life and question the reasoning behind my beliefs. The next step in my process is to create new narratives that are accurate, empowering and fit my lifestyle goals. I’ll share how I do that next week!

As always, I’m here for you and your money goals. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. 

XOXO

Part of my job is to ask people to pay me money so that they get better with their money. Getting better with their money often means that they’re currently struggling with some scary money issues: debt, overspending, a lack of savings or harmful income inconsistencies. When I first started working for myself I really struggled with this ask. It feels uncomfortable to tell someone who is struggling with money to spend more money so that they can stop struggling with money. See that vicious circle? 

When the coronavirus pandemic hit the first thing I thought of with how it would impact my business was that my pitch was all of a sudden going to be a whole lot harder. And then I paused. The value of my work actually just went up, not down. It’s in my head that my pitch is harder. It isn’t harder, it’s that I still have some money mindset issues to work through. 

Here’s the real answer of why working with a financial coach is so important during a time of financial crisis. While this may feel like an incredibly bizarre time to be spending money on getting better with money, it also may be an incredibly important time to invest in this part of your life/work. I can help you manage your money so that it stretches farther while improving the way it feels when you spend it. I can also help you determine the best ways to use your time bringing in revenue so that you are getting more bang for your buck. Being able to use those skills and tools now means that you are in a much stronger position both during the pandemic and after. 

And here’s the money mindset work that I’m doing. I have recognized that asking for money for my services makes me uncomfortable. It makes me way less uncomfortable than it did a few years ago, but it still brings up some difficult feelings. I have realized that those uncomfortable feelings are connected to two things: 1) my not-always-stellar feelings of self-worth, and 2) some confusing money values that were pounded into me at a very young age. 

Most of the time I feel like a confident business owner. I’m proud of the work I’ve done, the impact my business has on my clients, and the money I bring in to my family. Unfortunately, most of the time is not all of the time. There are days when I feel like an imposter and there are days when I question whether or not anything I’m doing makes sense. I never doubt the quality of my work or how much I’m helping clients, which is good, but it is all the other things that I don’t stay consistently proud of. I know this is normal. I also know that when I focus on all of the good that I do for people most of my doubts melt away. 

The money values I was raised with are actually much more complicated and harmful than my self-worth issues. I was raised to believe that the only work worth doing is work that makes you a martyr to your cause. Being a public school teacher was great because I did a lot of good for the world, was wholeheartedly underpaid and overworked. Owning my own business that helps folks who are usually left out of traditional financial advising services because of their net worth, gender orientation, sex or ethnicity gets a check for doing good in the world, but fails at the martyrdom. Yes, I work a lot (I’m writing this on a Saturday evening), but I also make sure that I get paid an appropriate amount. This value of martyrdom creeps up when I’m feeling emotionally vulnerable (see self-worth doubts) and then makes me question whether I should even ask for money in the first place. See that vicious circle? I know that when I’m feeling more stable emotionally I’m less likely to feel these feelings, but they are still there and will probably still be there to some extent for the rest of my life. In the next newsletter I’ll dive deeper into this story and help you figure out your harmful money narratives and how to reframe them. 

Have you noticed any harmful money narratives come up over the past few weeks? How have you, or are you, dealing with them? 

XOXO

There are a lot of financial professionals out there who wouldn’t touch the word mantra with a 6 foot pole. There is a whole other contingent that spends 100% of their time focusing on mantras, mindset and manifestation. I’m in neither camp. I rarely find the extremes to work for me, nor do I find that they work for many of my clients. That being said, according to my family in rural Louisiana I am incredibly “woo woo”. According to my friends in Los Angeles I’m pragmatic and straightlaced. Clearly perspective matters and depending on where you fall in the spectrum, this post may feel particularly uncomfortable or particularly easy to digest. I urge you, regardless of your initial reaction, to give it a try. 

THE MINDSET/ACTION CYCLE

Your money mindset is the set of beliefs and internal narratives that you hold in regards to how you view money, wealth and your position in that world. No single mindset is right for everyone, but everyone deserves to have a healthy mindset - one that enables you to feel comfortable and good about your experiences with money and one that encourages you to make money decisions that align with your values. 

Most healthy money mindsets are relatively fragile. Many of us grow up with incredibly negative mindsets and therefore have had to do a lot of work to change our narratives. Even if you grew up with a positive mindset, social norms often tear that down and you will have to work to keep it intact. Therefore, any time you experience emotional distress, your fragile money mindset can easily get disrupted and become negative. Unfortunately, we, as human beings, have a very hard time removing emotion from our decision making processes (actually, I think this is a good thing, but it certainly makes life harder!). If your mindset is in disarray then your decision making process will almost inevitably suffer as well. 

You’ve likely experienced this at different times in the past. Maybe you were going through a particularly tough breakup and ended up booking a flight to Hawaii that you couldn’t really afford. Maybe you were feeling left out of a friend group and you spent money on clothes or experiences that helped you fit in, but didn’t really match your values. Maybe you were just having a shitty day so you ended up self soothing via online shopping or buying one too many glasses of wine because “you deserved it”. I’ve been there. 

Globally, we are now in a time of mass distress. Even if you are healthy, employed and safe, you are likely feeling the trauma that is happening all around us. And, unfortunately, many of us aren’t healthy, employed or safe.

MANTRAS TO THE RESCUE (kind of)

Mantras are simple phrases that we can repeat again and again to help us rewire our narratives. For example, instead of my frequent narrative, “I’ll never get another client again” (truly, I do not know where this comes from, it has never been true, but has been a persistent, unhelpful thought for years), I can say “I am constantly bringing in new clients and helping them reach their goals”. Putting the mantra in the present tense is important because it signals to our brains that this thing that you’re saying is true now, and not something that might happen in the future or something that used to happen. 

Mantras may feel silly when you first start using them. I mean, you are repeating the same phrase over and over to yourself, often out loud and often in a mirror,  but they are incredibly powerful when you are trying to rewire a specific, negative money narrative. That being said, mindset is only one piece to the puzzle. You can rewire those negative narratives and create an emotional space where you are primed and ready to take on your financial goals, but if you don’t have the knowledge or skills to actually achieve those goals, you’ll still be, as my high school World History teacher, Mrs. Young, used to say, "up poo poo creek without a paddle." That is why I believe in the power of mindfulness, emotional intelligence and introspection when it comes to creating a healthy relationship with money and reaching financial goals and I believe that specialized skills and knowledge are crucial. 

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE MANTRAS 

• I am healthy, wealthy and happy. 

• I have great ideas for how to make and save money. 

• I am enough.

• I am worthy of financial success. 

• Money improves my life and the lives around me. 

NEXT STEPS

Try it out! Start by asking yourself what your current money mindset is. Is it serving you? Is it hurting? If it is hurting, try to put that in words. Now spin that around and make it a positive sentence that will help you find alignment. If you’re having trouble, try out one of my tried and true examples, or reach out to me for some guidance. If you feel like you’ve got the mindset on point, but want some help with the skills, let me know. If you feel lost on both fronts, let me know (note: you can email me here).

I’m here for you on your money journey, wherever that may be. 

XOXO

Note: This post is part of a series on money emotions and I want your help! I’ll be posting several more installments over the coming months (interspersed with other asked for content). If you have a related question or request, please email me here. 

I spend a lot of time working with clients on their money goals. I host workshops all about money goals and I talk my head off about them on instagram. They’re basically my favorite thing (that’s not true, my favorite thing is cheese and crackers or maybe peanut butter and marshmallows...coronavirus is giving me time to ponder snacks in a whole new, quite childish way).

Money goals are great! Coming up with them helps us figure out the most important things in our lives. If done right, our goals encapsulate our feelings and therefore are really exciting to work towards (i.e. get out of credit card debt so I can use that monthly money to start my new business/go on a trip/upgrade my apartment). Determining the right timeline and action steps helps us stay motivated and accountable, which in turn helps us feel accomplished and proud. And then reaching your goals is cause for a huge celebration! There’s a lot to love. 

But, what about now? What if the pandemic means that your money goals don’t make sense anymore, whether because they don’t feel right or because the action steps or timeline don’t seem possible anymore. 

That’s okay. 

You can do one of two things: 1) Check out your existing goals and modify them or 2) Ignore those old goals and make new ones. Both are valid and you should do whatever feels better to you. Don’t overthink it. 

If you are modifying existing goals…

• Start by finding wherever you wrote those goals down! Maybe they’re in your Google Drive. Maybe they’re tucked away in an old journal under your bed. No judgement here. 

• Read through your goals (not your action steps). Ask yourself: do these still feel right for my life? If they do, great! If not, move on to “If you are creating new goals”. 

• Next, ask yourself if the details of your goals make sense. Given your current situation, does your timeline still work? If not, how can you modify it? Do your action steps still make sense? If not, how can you modify them? 

• If you’re getting stuck or frustrated by trying to figure out those modifications, let me know. For the first time ever, I’m offering single coaching sessions (with a discount for a limited time!) and figuring out how to best update your goals is a perfect use of that service.

• Once you’ve updated your goals, find a prominent place to put them so you’re regularly reminded of what you’re working towards! Try something tucked under a fridge magnet, a sticky-note on your computer, a beautifully decorated piece of paper taped to your mirror or something taped inside your favorite snack cabinet (currently a very prominent place in my home and my heart).

If you are creating new goals…

• Take some time to brainstorm. What do you value most? How do you want your life to feel differently than it does? What are you searching for?

• Next, take time to brainstorm your roadblocks. What is stopping you from achieving the life you brainstormed in step one? What is holding you back? Is it debt? Lack of savings? Income that doesn’t match your needs and wants? 

• Create your goals using the tried and tested SMART system I shared about in December.

• Start creating action plans. Your first try probably won’t get everything you need in it, so I recommend setting aside 2-3 20 minute chunks of time to work on this. These should be spread out over a week or so so you have time to think of new things in between the sessions. I like starting with just a few action items that you know you can do in the next two weeks and then build from there.

• Note: If you are stuck on how to create goals that really work for you or aren’t sure how to make an action plan that keeps you accountable or that has everything you need in it, let me know. 

Regardless of whether you choose to modify existing goals or create new ones from scratch, don’t let yourself forget that this month (and likely this year) will not be normal. Your goals may need to change again and your action plans almost definitely will. That is okay! The important thing isn’t to create a plan that never changes, but to create plans that fit your needs and are flexible enough to pivot when necessary. 

XOXO